Test your English...
...with a few examples of home-made translations. If they don’t make you smile, you need the WORD people!
In a lounge:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
In a zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
In a doctor's office:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
In a restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
In the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
In a hotel:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a hotel across from a cemetery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
In a hotel:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
A dentist’s advertisement:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
A laundry:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Tourist agency:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Advertisement for donkey rides:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
The box of a clockwork toy:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
Airline ticket office:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.